"An izakaya? Isn't that a noisy, smoky place for young people?"
That was my mom's initial reaction. I had planned a special trip to Japan with my parents and wanted to end each day beautifully. Instead of crowded tourist restaurants, I envisioned a place where locals unwind after work, enjoying freshly grilled skewers with a refreshing glass of draft beer. But it felt like I hit a wall right from the start.
To be fair, my mom's concerns were accurate. The image of an 'izakaya' in my mind was also one of boisterous conversations from all directions, a smoky interior that made it hard to keep your eyes open, uncomfortable backless chairs, and a menu packed with indecipherable Japanese. I pictured a worst-case scenario where we'd quickly leave, feeling awkward, instead of enjoying a pleasant dinner. Since both my parents detest cigarette smoke, this was a non-negotiable priority.
However, I didn't want to give up on the idea of 'an izakaya with my parents.' After days of intense searching and advice from a local friend, I found a place that completely shattered our preconceptions. That evening became one of the best moments of our trip. The place we found wasn't a noisy bar, but a sophisticated 'adult space' where every dish was prepared with care. Based on that experience, I'll now share the criteria and know-how for choosing an izakaya that will make your parents exclaim 'absolutely delightful!'
Smoke-Free Places: Do They Really Exist?
When traveling in Japan, especially when looking for restaurants, one of the biggest concerns is smoking.
In Korea, indoor smoking has been largely prohibited for a long time, so the thought of a restaurant filled with hazy cigarette smoke is headache-inducing. My parents, in particular, really dislike the smell of smoke, so this was the number one item on my checklist. Fortunately, with the revised Health Promotion Act implemented in Japan from April 2020, indoor smoking regulations have become much stricter. While indoor smoking is generally prohibited, there are many exceptions, such as designated smoking rooms depending on the size and type of establishment, so you still need to do some research. If you want to go to a strictly non-smoking place, you need to pay close attention to the signs posted at the entrance. Detailed information can be found on the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare website (受動喫煙対策), but travelers don't have time to read all that, so just remember the key points.
Most restaurant apps and Google Maps also indicate whether a place is non-smoking, so it's a good habit to check before making a reservation.
全席禁煙 (All Seats Non-Smoking)
The most reliable and worry-free choice. Look for places marked 'Zenseki Kinen.' All seats are non-smoking, allowing you to enjoy your meal in a pleasant environment. This option is highly recommended when dining with parents.
分煙 (Smoking/Non-Smoking Sections)
'Bun-en.' Places where smoking and non-smoking sections are separated. However, they are often divided by just a partition, so smoke can still drift over. It's essential to carefully check reviews beforehand to see if the spaces are perfectly separated and if ventilation is good.
If You Prefer Calm Conversation Over Loud Bustle
After overcoming the major hurdle of cigarette smoke, another challenge awaited: noise. While the lively, bustling atmosphere is undoubtedly part of an izakaya's charm, it can be a nuisance when you're tired from a day of sightseeing with your parents and want to chat quietly about your day. I wanted to avoid a situation where our family's conversation would be drowned out by the loud cheers of a large group at the next table.
The most reliable solution in such cases is to book a 'koshitsu' (個室), which means a private room. Think of it like a restaurant with private rooms in Korea. The coziness of a private space is better than expected. We could comfortably take photos of our food without worrying about others, and my father, whose legs were tired, could even put his feet up on the chair after taking off his shoes, enjoying the meal in a much more relaxed posture. Of course, not all izakayas have private rooms, and they usually require a reservation or may incur an additional charge (席料, sekiryo), so it's essential to check in advance.
However, it's crucial to remember that not all 'koshitsu' are the same. When checking the '個室あり (private room available)' option on reservation sites, checking the detailed information about the type of room can further reduce the chance of disappointment.
- Kanzen Koshitsu (完全個室): A completely private space with a proper door. This is by far the best choice if you want a quiet conversation.
- Han Koshitsu (半個室): A semi-private space separated only by a curtain (簾) or low partition. While it blocks the line of sight, noise will likely still come through. It's better than nothing, but don't expect too much!
- Horigotatsu Koshitsu (掘りごたつ個室): A Japanese-style room with a sunken floor, allowing you to sit with your legs comfortably extended as if in a chair. For parents who find sitting cross-legged difficult, this is ideal. If you see this keyword when booking, don't hesitate.
If you can't find a suitable 'koshitsu' izakaya, you can also look for alternatives based on the restaurant's atmosphere or concept. Smaller, independently run establishments rather than chain restaurants, especially those specializing in 'Nihonshu' (日本酒, Japanese sake) or 'Shochu' (焼酎, distilled spirits), tend to be quieter as they focus on savoring the taste of the alcohol and food. Opting for a more upscale 'kappo' (割烹) style izakaya is also a good approach. While the prices are higher than regular izakayas, you can enjoy refined dishes in a calmer atmosphere, which my parents greatly appreciated. Once you've chosen a seating arrangement that suits your family, it's time to face the next hurdle: the menu.
Useful Izakaya Ordering Etiquette to Know
Who hasn't experienced the panic of facing an indecipherable Japanese menu? Even a translation app becomes useless if the menu is handwritten. I vividly remember sweating trying to figure out what to order while my parents were hungry.
So, once you've secured a cozy spot that suits your family, it's time to tackle the even bigger hurdle of ordering. The unwritten rule of Japanese izakayas is to immediately shout "Toriaezu Nama! (とりあえず生!)" or "Draft beer first!" as soon as you sit down, but with parents, the story is a little different. Of course, a refreshing Namabiru (生ビール) for Dad is a must. For Mom, who might not enjoy alcohol, a warm Oolong tea (ウーロン茶) or green tea (緑茶), or even sweet Calpis (カルピス) which surprisingly many adults enjoy, are good non-alcoholic options. Deciding on drinks first buys you time to peruse the menu at your leisure.
It's best to start food orders with safe options that have a low chance of failure. Salty yakitori (焼き鳥, grilled chicken skewers), soft dashimaki tamago (だし巻き卵, Japanese rolled omelet), and savory agedashi dofu (揚げ出し豆腐, fried tofu) are usually well-received by adults. If they enjoy fresh seafood, add 'Sashimi Moriawase (お刺身盛り合わせ, assorted sashimi),' or if they prefer something warm, a 'Yosenabe (寄せ鍋, assorted hot pot)' will quickly create a bountiful spread. In Japan, it's common to start with a few light appetizers, slowly add more dishes while chatting, and finish with carbohydrates like onigiri (rice balls) or ochazuke (rice in tea) as a 'shime (〆)' or meal-ender. Embracing this flow can be a unique and enjoyable experience.
Sometimes, a small dish you didn't order is placed on your table as soon as you sit down; this is called 'otoshi (お通し)'. It's a complimentary appetizer that serves as a kind of seating charge, usually costing around 300-500 yen per person. Don't be alarmed, it's not a rip-off. The otoshi is often the first impression of the restaurant and a taste of their culinary skill for the day, so places with a carefully prepared otoshi are likely to have delicious other dishes too. Instead of being surprised and thinking, 'Wasn't this free?', try to anticipate 'What will I get today?' – it's a small pleasure of enjoying an izakaya.
If you need to order something or want water, don't hesitate to call out loudly, "Sumimasen! (すみません!)" to get a staff member's attention. If there's a call bell on the table, it's even easier. When you get the bill, you'll likely see '席料 (sekiryo)' or 'お通し代 (otoshi dai)' listed separately; these are the seating charge and appetizer fee, so there's no misunderstanding. With just a few of these small pieces of knowledge, the hurdle of ordering becomes lower, and the enjoyment of your meal is doubled.
Conclusion: A Little Preparation for a Happy Evening for Everyone
"I didn't know an izakaya could be this quiet and clean. The food is delicious too." My father's satisfied words as he emptied his namabiru glass made all my worries melt away. My mother nodded continuously, enjoying the fluffy dashimaki tamago (rolled omelet) with her warm oolong tea. The unexpected hit was the savory agedashi dofu (fried tofu), which both of them quickly finished. The preconception of a noisy, smoky place was completely shattered within the softly lit space filled with hushed conversations.
When traveling with parents, the most important things are 'comfort' and 'consideration.' Here, comfort doesn't just mean soft chairs. It means a space not so cramped that you bump shoulders with the next table, an atmosphere where you can hear each other's voices without shouting, and the luxury of enjoying a leisurely meal without worrying about the next day's schedule. The key is to find a place of 'rest' that is different from the boisterous izakayas where we go with friends to feel the energy of youth.
In fact, the term 'izakaya' is a much broader concept than we might imagine. From 'yakitoriya' (焼き鳥屋) specializing in grilled chicken skewers, to 'kaisen izakaya' (海鮮居酒屋) focused on fresh seafood, to more upscale establishments centered on tofu dishes or seasonal vegetables. The atmosphere and menu change completely depending on the type of restaurant you choose. Filtering by 'non-smoking' and 'private room (個室)' is essential, and adding a 'specialty' that suits your parents' taste will bring the chance of failure down to virtually zero.
Being able to properly introduce my parents to the izakaya, the essence of Japan's nightlife, was a truly rewarding experience. The real joy of travel isn't about conquering famous tourist spots, but about these small successes that come together, isn't it? So, in the next chapter, I'll share practical tips on how I prepared for this perfect evening.
Practical Tips for Travelers
Based on the experience shared above, here are some practical tips to make your izakaya visit with your parents perfect. From reservations to ordering, these details will determine the quality of your trip.
- Using reservation apps is a must, not an option
Be sure to use 'Tabelog' or 'Gurunavi,' the most trusted restaurant review sites by locals in Japan. Don't just look at ratings; the key is to check '個室 (koshitsu, private room)' and '完全禁煙 (kanzen kinen, completely non-smoking)' in the detailed condition filters. Popular places often get fully booked 1-2 weeks in advance, so it's best to plan ahead. If Japanese reservations are daunting, many apps now offer reservation proxy services, or asking your hotel concierge is the most reliable and convenient method. - Before 6 PM, target the
'golden hour.' Izakayas usually become very noisy from 7 PM when office workers flock in after work. For parents tired from traveling all day, we recommend visiting around 5:30 or 6 PM. This time is no different from the 'golden hour.' You can be seated immediately without waiting, order at your leisure, and most importantly, fully concentrate on the food in a quiet atmosphere. - Boldly Skip 'Nomihoudai'
'Nomihoudai' (飲み放題), which offers unlimited drinks for a set time, might seem appealing at first glance, but it's rarely necessary for a calm gathering with parents. You usually need to drink 3-4 glasses or more per person to get your money's worth, which is unlikely. It's much more economical to comfortably order the drinks and beverages you want 'tanpin (単品, à la carte).' If you check in advance for warm non-alcoholic beverages like oolong tea (ウーロン茶) or green tea (緑茶) for those who don't drink alcohol, you'll be praised for your thoughtfulness. - A Little Cash as an Emergency Fund
While card payments are becoming more common, small, charming establishments tucked away in alleys or older, traditional places still often only accept cash. To avoid being flustered by payment issues after finding a place you love, it's wise to have about 10,000 yen per person in cash.
'Otoshi (お通し)' is a basic table charge
If a small dish you didn't order is served for each person, that's 'otoshi.' This isn't a mistake but a unique aspect of Japanese izakaya culture, a kind of seating charge (table charge). Typically, around 300-500 yen per person is automatically included in the bill. In most cases, it cannot be refused, so don't misunderstand it as a rip-off; simply enjoy it as an appetizer that gives you a first impression of the establishment.
These small details collectively determine your parents' satisfaction with the trip. If there's an unfamiliar dish on the menu, don't hesitate to ask the staff, 'Osusume wa nandesuka? (おすすめは何ですか?, What do you recommend?)' With a little extra care, you might hear heartwarming praise like, 'When did they grow up enough to take care of us like this?' I wish you all a delightful izakaya evening that satisfies everyone.